New beginning... ..... . Again

Well today is sunday the 7th september 2014

All my will power had been lost completely stuck in a rut until last week something changed my life i got a job 4  years since my previous job im so happy my only issue no is i am now at my heaviest physically finding it very hard diet wise and its heart breaking but im not giving up time for a new beginning and diet starts today i will do this if it kills me i am finally getting somewhere and i aint about to give in to my weight

IT IS GOING AS FAST AS I CAN GET IT OFF

Take 2

OK so its been a while since i have wrote a blog i lost control and now i know i need to get back in control of my diet once again start the exercise and really focus. I have found this past few months very hard and struggling to keep myself on track cant believe i have let go so as of tomorrow NO MORE am i going to let myself carry on the way im going i have to change for me wish it was so easy but its far from that. i know i can do this and im going to 

DAY 64 I THINK!!!!! TIME TO UPDATE 


Well i feel its time to update my blog as i havent done it in about a month bad me things have been up and down i guess my weight hasnt really budged much this past 4 week but i have this past week lost 4lb after a 3 week holt which i am pleased about and also althgough i havent really budged weight wise i feel i have lost inch wise which i know is still all good.


was thinking before bout the christmas that has just passed me and i have never been so big or felt so low as i did then when i think back it was so upsetting since then all together i have lost 1st 10lb now and majority of that is all thanx to the sponsored slim where i have lost 1st 5lb since being on it may not sound alot but to me its a big difference.


the only thing i wished i would of done differently since starting this slim is measuring myself to actually know how many inches i have actually lost as i know i have lost a fair few to say at christmas i was in size 28 and now im fitting in size 22 i am so a shamed to say i was in a size 28 cause i never imagined that and was in denial to myself and everyone else about this i would never of told anyone this but as i am making a change in my life its about time i start being honest with myself think this is the only way to keep myself going.


i am now in the last month of the slim completing it on the 29th April and having a final weigh in which i am nervous about but am sure all will go well i just have to keep working hard now i know i can do this still looking for sponsors if anyone else believes in me it will make a huge difference anything that can be donated would be fantastic and a great help to sands charity in memory of Alfie-Joe the link which is at the top of my screen. even more awareness has been made this past few weeks as well as alfie joes mum kirsty shared an article with full house magazine which really touched my heart i think she is so so brave and should be proud of herself for all her hard work shes making such a difference and are an inspiration to me and many others out there 

DAY 30 A CHALLENGING FE DAYS BUT THINK IM GETTIN BACK ON TRACK...........


OK so i have struggled since Thursday don't know what has happened really just felt abit fed up really i guess this has been my time to fall back its been a very strange feeling it just gets so hard sometimes i guess everyone goes through it not really exercised much since then either all together only done 20 mins on my exercise bike i know isn't going to help me but i feel my eating hasn't dipped to much just haven't been strict on my calorie eating at meal times like i normally am haven't pigged out though i feel. back to moky tomorrow for another 2 hour workout just what i need after the way i have felt the past few days.


MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES TO HELP ME GET BACK ON TRACK 

Always do what your afraid to do

i feel that this is something i am battling with everyday i am afraid of anything to do with my weight loss just feel failure constantly in my head this is definitely a quote i need to remember and need to learn that i can do this being afraid is nothing to be scared of just something to work on overcoming.

If you do not hope you will not find what is beyond your hopes.

i love this quote as i have alot of hopes and dreams for my future during and after this weight loss which is what i need to remember also to keep me on track i need to keep this in my head and know that my hopes are the way forward to a slimmer brighter healthier future.

AND FINALLY MY FAVOURITE QUOTE OF ALL

WE ARE WHAT WE REPEATEDLY DO. EXCELLENCE, THEREFORE, IS NOT AN ACT BUT HABIT

this quote has learned me that excellence is part of my life or at least will be when i reach my goals and yes its all about habits getting rid of all my bad habits and creating perfection in my new ones this i know isn't going to be easy but i do believe it is manageable focusing my mind and changing everything i every new about my lifestyle is the only way forward for me and my gorgeous girl who deserves the best in life and i hope that changing my habits will help her make the right choices where her habits are concerned im very thankful to have her in my life and she is my excellence and perfection she is enough to make me realise my wrong doings and bad habits and correct them.

these quotes may not sound much to others but to me its how you interpret them i definitely feel that they are powerful words to me and guidance to help me along in my journey.

DAY 24 LETS MOKY!!!!!!!

Absolutely loving moky at the min it is fantastic the instructors are fantastic and everyone are so friendly never thought i would say i look forward to exercise but i do even after 2 hours of hard work i am still motivated and thinking aww i now have to wait another week till my next moky session gutted still cant believe how nice and friendly everyone are there don't have a bad word to say really just hope i have done enough to lose another 2lb this week and make my first stone loss while being on this sponsored slim.

                              wow this looks alot but all i need to do is lose double this and im happy 

                                                    this is what one pound of fat looks like.

to everyone in the sponsored slim that are doing fantastic on there weight loss but don't realise it a 5lb loss is a hell of alot when you think it weighs exactly the same as a brick i know these pics aint nice to look at but definitely seem to be keeping me on track and also carols words of wisdom thank you :) 

DAY 20 TESTING TIME CAN I GO OUT AND KEEP MY DIET IN CONTROL...........


Well got invited out for a road to Whitley bay with some of the girls off the village was a bit worried bout my diet didn't want to waste all my hard work so i decided i would drink but try and stay sensible. when we set off everyone was drinking on the coach i chose not to wanted to enjoy my drink while i was out i felt abit boring really but needed to stay focused was a bit weird (although i did have a couple of shots of sambucca) i was stone cold sober and everyone else were half cut if not bit more by the time we arrived oh how i wished that was me lol. I do think i managed pretty well though after having a few drinks and dancing the night away i was abit tipsy probs helps that i never really drink any more don't take much to get me drunk lol what a fantastic night though actually got chat to and meet more people from my area only took me a year have to say though all the girls were great was a really good laugh. when everyone was ready for home time they went to the take away all ordered kebabs and chips or burgers i ordered a diet coke haha i thought i did quite well really just nicked a couple of chips and pieces of chicken off my sister i was fine then all ready for a long drive back home all worth it think i slept most of the way back.


DAY 21 WEEKLY WEIGH IN DAY...........


when i finally crawled out of bed gone dinner haha i was undecided whether i should weigh myself again or not was scared after the night before but i decided to bite the bullet and get on um if i see any damage it will give me the push to correct it. i was pleasantly surprised i had lost another lb since my midweek weigh in that's another 2lb off this week not the 4lb i wanted but hey after having a night out i am so so pleased 12lb altogether in 3 weeks yay go me. i just need to concentrate this week now to ensure i get the other 2lb off and reach my first stone on the sponsored slim i can do this i know i can 


DAY 22 MONDAY TIME TO SET GOALS FOR THE WEEK A HEAD.............

• Plenty of exercise - last week i lacked abit although i did 3 moky sessions i didn't really do as much as i should of at home this week i will change this 
• No night out - i never normally go out anyway so thought i would to get to know the girls near me nothing planned this week though.
• Watch what i eat- make sure i count all my calories using my fitness pal on computer and phone
• Try and get more sponsors- my total now is £230 a fantastic amount of money but want to raise as much as possible for an amazing cause. 
• Most importantly STAY FOCUSED!!!!!!!

DAY 16 ALL WAS GOING SO WELL........


Today i got up had my breakfast bar 83 calories then dinner 2 slices of malt loaf 203 calories then i had for my tea a healthy tuna and rice salad not sure on calories but had alot more salad then anything else so wasn't to bad. took fuscia to the park and i managed to walk there no problem no pains in my back and hips which means all this exercise must be paying off was so pleased with myself.


Then i received a phone call off my mum she said she had treated me for tea and she was in her way to drop it off to my surprise it was a doner kebab on pitta i thought since i had done so well i could afford a treat 16 days and i had cut all the rubbish out to break it as i started to eat it i was enjoying it then the guilt started to kick in all my hard work and i was eating a kebab what was i thinking i ate about half of it then gave the rest to my liam then pushed myself into a 50 mins workout hopefully i didn't damage the diet to much.


hope you don't think im being ungrateful mum as it was a lovely surprise just guilt over took my mind that's got to be a good sign hasn't it i now know i aint interested in all that i really don't want it any more i need to help myself one stupid moment of weakness that has shown me i don't need that sort of food no more. i need to change for the better and that's what im going to do.


DAY 17 BACK IN CONTROL AND STILL LOVING MOKYFIT..............


OK so i have had another easy day today am back on track after my blip yesterday i now know that i don't want take away its not for me at the minute anyway. so today i didn't really eat that much don't know if that was out of guilt of yesterday or just didn't feel hungry think i should of had bit more then what i have done but its to late to eat now lol its supposed to be bad to eat after 8 i have heard. 


Been to moky and never thought i could manage 2 hours but i did it 2 whole hours its unbelievable to think before this sponsored slim i was so unhealthy struggled to walk with my bad back and hips and yes i know that's down to my size but i was just stuck in a rut. i think i believe this sponsored slim has pulled me out of it and actually given me so much motivation and belief in me as a have so many sponsors that must believe in me to sponsor me.any way back to moky so i was only expecting 1 hour thats a good enough workout and then mel asked me if i was up for doing 2 hours. i just thought im never going to manage this but i will give it a go theres only one way am going to lose this weight and thats to push myself. after the first hours i was just red hot ant sweaty didn't feel to bad then as i got half way through the second workout my legs were starting to give up i think haha they just didnt want to function but i pushed myself and i finished them both and even though i was shattered after the workout i was on such a high for actually finishing it whoop whoop go me and mel. 


DAY 18 OUCH MY BACK AND FEET BUT ALL WORTH IT :) .............


Well woke up this morning and have a sore back and poorly toes lol think i took it out of um with all that moky but i dont care as it all payed off when i weighed myself to realise since christmas i have lost 1st 2lbs an since the sponsored slim i have lost 11lb going to keep working hard and fingers crossed by sundays weigh in i can make that 11lbs into 1stone then i will be half way through my goal for this sponsored slim.